2020
You never really know what can happen in a year. Hell, I guess you don’t even know what the next morning will bring most of the time. Looking back on 2020, this year has been a whirlwind of emotions- to say the least. I don’t think I know anyone that hasn’t grown in some dramatic way this year. While that might seem scary to some people, I truly think it’s beautiful. I think it’s beautiful how human nature has allowed us to find ways to adapt to so many things. Humans are truly amazing in how we manage to take trauma and turn it into something that transforms us completely- inside and out.
It’s hard to see how much you’ve grown over a period of time until you really take a step back and try to remember where you were a year ago, or 2 years, 5 years, etc. I know personally, one year ago today, I was sitting in my dorm room in the suburbs of Pennsylvania about to finish my first semester of college. I felt so empowered. I was so confident in my abilities and my future. I was so… proud. There was so much to look forward to for the upcoming year. 2020 was going to be the year I traveled to Europe for the first time and got to study more law courses, begin my internship, see my friends from high school again. There was so much light in my life and hope for the future.
January of 2020 really set the tone for the year that would lie ahead for us. It’s crazy to think back and remember a world where COVID didn’t exist. I remember counting down to the new year with all of my closest friends, cheering at midnight, hugging them because I cherish them so much. It was so cold back in Illinois, where I spent New Years. I had just turned 19 and life was so good. I was telling everyone about my upcoming adventures and opportunities with no idea what the next few months would bring. After winter break, like all college students, I headed back to the dorms. I remember getting stuck in Chicago because a snow storm caused all of the flights to be cancelled for days. I was so devastated. I missed my college friends and also the first two days of spring semester classes.
When I finally got back to Philadelphia, I was greeted by my roommates and welcomed back with open arms. I think the thing that I miss the most from a world without Covid is hugging people. I swear when this is over I think I will hug every person I see. In February I began my internship at the PA House of Representatives. For a freshman in college, this was a dream come true. I was working closely with our local state representative and loving every minute of it- even the early mornings in the snow walking a mile to work through my small college town. February also brought me to Harvard University for the International ModelUN conference. This was an experience that I never expected to be offered to me. I loved every minute of it. I didn’t know what I was doing most of the time, but it brought me closer to a club at my university that I truly am honored to be a part of. I also was able to meet students from all over the world- some who’s friendship I am privileged to still have.
After I returned from Boston, I decided to throw a 2000’s themed party in my dorm room with some close friends. The dress code was simple: channel your inner 2000’s Ashley Tisdale, Justin Timberlake, Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears, etc. This means A LOT of layers and denim. We were paying homage to a better time. The music was amazing and the outfits that people came in were the highlight of the semester. I absolutely loved it. After the weekend of the party, things seemed to go downhill. I ended up getting super sick. I missed two weeks of classes and honestly believed I was going to fail because of it. Finally, when my fever reached 104 degrees, my roommates rushed me to the hospital. This was the first weekend in March.
The hospital tested me for everything under the sun. The flu, mono, strep, pregnancy, kidney failure, blood flow issues, etc. Everything came up negative. Eventually, they were able to break my fever with the IV bag and some medicine and I was discharged and sent back to the dorms. I remember feeling like I couldn’t breathe most of the time. My brain kind of just… shut off for a few weeks. It was the scariest few weeks for me. No one really knew what was wrong with me. Ultimately, I got better and moved on with my life.
About a week later, the country went on lockdown because of a “pandemic caused by Covid-19.”
My school’s campus closed down and they sent us all back to our homes. I remember feeling confused and out of place. I flew back to Chicago on Friday March 13th during global pandemic… didn’t seem like a good idea to my superstitious mind. I made it back, but only packed one suitcase because we were told we would be going back to campus in two weeks.
I wasn’t allowed to return to get my any of my belongings from my dorm room until June. Classes went online for the entire rest of the semester. Only seeing people through a screen is the weirdest thing in the entire world. People that I would normally hug to say goodbye or stay after class late to talk to were only boxes on a screen now. It’s weird how fast things that were once so new and weird become normal, isn’t it?
I had to move into my Grandfather’s house in April because he needed help with the Covid restrictions that were placed on Illinois residents. I also needed somewhere to live after being sent home from college so I think it was a perfect fit for both of us. I would go grocery shopping for him when it was too dangerous for someone at such a high risk to go and in turn, I didn’t have to pay rent anymore. It was too dangerous for me to get a job because if I was exposed to Covid, I would come home and spread it to him. Thus I ended up spending the majority of March-June inside of the house, studying, learning how to knit, cooking, baking, and watching a whole lot of Netflix and Tiktok.
In June, I bought my first car. This opened up so many doors for me and I regret absolutely nothing about this decision. My 2016 Chevy Cruze was my new favorite thing in the world. About a week after I bought my car, I planned a month long road trip. I would start in the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois, work my way down to Florida and up the East Coast to New York.
3 days after planning it, I left. I packed everything I could fit in my car and embarked on my journey. My first stop on this trip was a small town outside of the Illinois border in Kentucky. It was here that I met by paternal Grandfather’s brother and his wife as well as their children and Grandchildren. I don’t know much about my Father or his family so this experience was truly amazing. I felt like I belonged somewhere for the first time in a very long time. I spent one night in Kentucky and felt so much love from people that barely knew me that I can’t really express well in words. I am beyond grateful for the open arms I was accepted and loved with.
I left the next morning and went to Nashville, TN, where I met up with an old friend from high school. I hadn’t seen her in years and it was beautiful in Nashville. Very hot, but beautiful. It’s weird that I’m at an age where I “meet up with old friends from high school in foreign cities.” Seeing her so happy in her new life made me feel hopeful for the future, like things would fall into place for me eventually as well.
After Nashville, I decided I wanted to go see Beale Street in Memphis, TN so I took the five hour drive and arrived around 5:30pm. I didn’t stay long there since everything was closed, but I love the music scene around there. Beale Street is better at night for sure, but I knew I had soooo long to go that day still so I decided to leave and head to Florida. The goal that night was to get to Pensacola, FL before the morning.
Let me tell you… that drive felt like it was never going to end.
I had to drive through Tennessee, Mississippi, and Alabama before I arrived in Pensacola. It was about 4am by the time I got there. I remember stopping for gas somewhere in the middle of nowhere in Mississippi and looking up… the stars literally took my breath away. I have NEVER seen so many stars in my entire life.
I think people should take more time to look at the stars more often. We don’t do that enough.
The next morning I woke up in a hotel room in Pensacola, FL and headed over to the Navy Base where I was able to reunite with my high school ex boyfriend/best friend in the entire world. It’s a weird dynamic, but it works in its own ways. We spent two and half days doing quite literally nothing in Pensacola. Walking around the base, sitting in my car watching Netflix movies, exploring the beaches. I hadn’t seen him since I left for college in August 2019, so it was nice to catch up and spend some time together. Saying goodbye wasn’t easy, but they never are so I guess I expected that.
I spent one more day in Pensacola before leaving. This day was spent entirely by myself at the beach. There’s one thing I always to forget… that I am VERY white and also fair skinned. I am the kind of white person that burns within 5 minutes of being outside. The UV was 12 that day. I’ll let you jump to the conclusion of what being on the beach for 5 hours that day turned into.
Despite the excruciating pain of my third degree burns on my body, I had to leave and head to Georgia. If you recall the relatives I met in Kentucky from the beginning of this trip, I also was able to meet more family outside of Atlanta. 6 hours of driving later and I got to Atlanta where I was once again welcomed with the most loving hugs in the world. I stayed in Georgia with them for 4 days, where I was met cousins, aunts, uncles, great uncles and aunts. It’s hard to imagine meeting people and feeling like family so quick, but it took no time at all to feel loved and accepted.
If this trip did anything for me, it was that it gave me a second family that is so full of love and support that it doesn’t seem real most the time. I am so honored to be a part of this family now and be able to get to know these people.
Georgia was very interesting to see. It’s not really a place that many people want to visit (at least that I know of). I spent a few days getting to know my family, but there was one day that I decided to explore. I just started driving. I had no idea where I’d end up, but it was so damn beautiful. I found a sign for sunflower field on the side of the road… so I turned and went in. I’ve never been so speechless. I looked crazy, being the only person alone walking through this sunflower festival, but I didn’t care. There were flowers EVERYWHERE and soooo many butterflies I started to cry.
For some reason, when I can’t fully process emotions, I cry.
After the flower festival, I explored Berry College, one that I wanted to attend after high school, but couldn’t afford. It’s such a BEAUTIFUL campus- something out of a movie if you ask me. On my way back to Atlanta, I stopped at this forest preserve and just watched time go by for a few hours until the sun went down. Life felt… good for once. Things felt light in my life.
I always feel like the world rests on my shoulders. For this entire day driving through Georgia, nothing mattered except for the beauty I saw around me and the people that I met.
The next morning, I left my family and headed to Savannah, GA. I have dreamed about going here for my entire life. I remember watching movies that took place in Savannah and daydreaming about the beauty of it. Let’s just say, it lived up to the standards I had set in my mind. At this point in my trip, my foot was infected so I couldn’t really walk, but I promise you I limped through that city like it was my job.
I ended up driving to Charleston, SC that night and sleeping there until the next morning. That morning I woke up with a foot the size of my calf. With this being the case, I made the executive decision to go see a doctor. The doctor told me that it was such a bad infection that if I waited another few days it would’ve spread up my leg and possibly led to an amputation in the future. So I guess I’m super glad I decided to go that morning.
However much pain I was in, it wasn’t going to stop me from exploring Charleston. Like in Savannah, I limped my way through and saw as much as I possibly could without causing myself too much pain. I absolutely loved being there. The colors of the buildings, the cobblestone streets, the history, it was all amazing.
From there I went to Myrtle beach, where I spent maybe 10 minutes because I literally couldn’t walk anymore. I wish I could’ve seen more, but from what I did see, it was great. There were A LOT of people though, which made me nervous because Covid, unfortunately, still existed.
I ended up in North Carolina where I stayed with another friend from high school. I hadn’t seen her since 2016 when she moved out to NC. It was so crazy catching up with her. It was even crazier that it felt like no time had passed and we were still just as close. I laughed so much that night, even though it felt like my foot was going to fall off and I was exhausted. I am so grateful to have friends like her in my life.
Washington D.C. was my next stop on the trip. A friend from high school reached out to me when I posted about this trip and explained that he was staying in D.C. for an internship and then he offered to have me stay with him if I passed through. We ended up going to dinner near the White House and stayed up for hours talking. The next morning, I woke up and decided to explore the National Mall. It was 90 degrees that day and of course, I didn’t have sunscreen. My foot was still infected and my skin was burning, but I managed to complete the entire Mall in the span of a day. D.C. never fails to be beautiful.
I also decided to go to Virginia and hike in the woods that border D.C.. I didn’t last long here, but it sure was pretty. I ended up leaving the D.C. area and heading to New Jersey, where I stayed with my best friend in the entire world for a few weeks.
It’s hard to explain how we became so close, but I am forever grateful that she was brought into my life when she was. We were supposed to be roommates in college, but things didn’t work out. Despite this challenge, we stayed in touch and throughout the first lockdown she was my rock. If you’re reading this, I love you endlessly.
We spent the few weeks in Jersey going to the beach, eating, laughing, and watching movies. I met all of her friends from high school and was honored to be able to make these memories with my best friend. This was such a good way to end my road trip journey. On my last day I dragged one of my Freshman year suite-mates to New York City.
This was a dream come true for a girl from the suburbs of Illinois. I’ve always dreamed about standing in Times Square, walking through Central Park, seeing the Brooklyn Bridge. The city was so empty because of Covid, but god it was a beautiful day. We walked what felt like 20 miles and were exhausted, but I will never forget that day. I am so thankful that I was able to do this and even more thankful for my suite-mate for joining me.
After my day in New York, I headed back to Illinois. I was sad to go back home. I felt like I was doing so much and finally feeling like myself. It’s hard to feel like yourself in the place where you lost yourself to begin with. Soon after I got back to Illinois, my school announced that campus was going to be closed for the semester. My heart broke. I just wanted my life back.
Thankfully, my co-worker from my on campus job reached about and mentioned that she and her boyfriend were looking to move. They asked if I would want to live with them in Philadelphia. I couldn’t imagine myself moving into my own apartment at 19 years old. It didn’t seem like a real possibility.
However, I decided to go for it and move in with them and that suite-mate I mentioned earlier. These people quickly became family and I am forever grateful to have them through this part of my life. It’s easy to forget that your life is upside down and the world is falling apart when you’re surrounded by constant laughs and love.
In September my best friend from my home town reached out to me and asked me if I wanted to meet her in Boston for a weekend. I embarked on another journey in October. So in the spirit of my new found love for road trips I left and drove to Boston, MA where I stayed for two nights. I met up with her and we went to Salem and Cambridge. Seeing her and her mom made me feel like I was home, even though I was nowhere even close to it. It’s crazy how people can feel more like home than any physical place.
I decided to leave and travel North to Maine, where I slept in my car in the 25 degree weather along the Canadian border. I saw Acadia National Park and nearly cried. This world is so beautiful I can’t even put it into words sometimes. Then, I drove to New Hampshire where I saw the leaves changing colors for fall. Vermont was just as pretty, but absolutely way too cold for me. I ended up taking two midterms in my car in random parking lots throughout these states.
While online school might not be ideal, it’s a very unique situation because I’ve been able to travel while simultaneously going to classes since they’re all online. I’m learning how to make the best out of every situation.
I ended the trip by driving through New York state and New Jersey. Eventually, I made it back home to Philadelphia where I finished up the rest of my midterms. After midterm season, I flew back to Chicago for Thanksgiving. It was nice to see family and friends, even if it was just for a week.
Soon after I got back to PA, finals started and I was hyper-focused on trying to pass all of my classes (which I did!). However, I did not let the Christmas spirit dwindle, no matter how stressed I was. I planned an entire week of activities for my roommates and I to do before Christmas. We went to see lights, decorated cookies, watched movies, decorated the apartment. It was a beautiful month. I turned 20 years old on Christmas day and was surrounded by so much love.
I spent my birthday with my best friend in New York City. What a dream. If this year has taught me anything- it’s that dreams can come true, sometimes it just takes a 15 hour drive. The world is there, you just have to be ready to see it. Don’t let fear hold you back from experiencing the beauty that this world offers.
Currently, it is December 30th and I am waiting for a plane to take me back to Chicago where I will celebrate the New Year with the same friends I’ve been doing this with since 2015. Friendship is such a beautiful thing. I hope to live in the moment this New Years. This year has shown, more than ever, that time is not guaranteed.
To the friends I’ve made, the people I’ve met, and those that I’ve had the privilege to love this year, thank you. Thank you for accepting me and making me feel at home. Here’s to 2021.
